Scheming

Theo loves iPhones and iPads more than...well, just about anything. He has a deactivated iPhone that he uses as an iPod Touch, but we keep it up where he can't reach it, so he can't just sit and play with it all day--he has to ask for it when he wants it. And he needs to use it downstairs--he's not allowed to take it up to his room at bedtime. However, he remembers that one time, when he was 3.5 years old (he's now 5), we gave him an iPod Nano in his crib. The reason? We were moving the next morning; everything in our house was packed in boxes, including flashlights; and the movers had knocked the power out. So we were stuck in a pitch-black house overnight, and Theo was understandably freaked out by that and the fact that our house was in a shambles and we'd be leaving it forever the next morning. So, we relented and let him take an iPod to bed just one time. And we ended up having to take it away because two hours after going to bed, he was still wide awake and playing with it.

In general, he has made his peace with the fact that he doesn't get to use an iPod in his bedroom now. But today, he seized upon an opportunity to try to change the rules. Our conversation went like this:

Theo: Mom, where's Daddy?
Me: On the BART train.
Theo: Why isn't he on the bus?
Me: Because he overslept and missed the bus this morning. He had to take BART to work instead.
Theo: Why did he oversleep?
Me: Because he forgot to set his alarm.
Theo: But he doesn't have an alarm clock.
Me: He uses the alarm on his iPhone. And he forgot to set it.
Theo (excitedly): I need to have my iPhone in my bedroom, Mom! Next to my bed.
Me: No, you don't get an iPhone in your bedroom.
Theo: But Mooooommmm! [Yes, we've reached the stage of the long, drawn-out Moooooommm!] I need my phone in my room so I can set my alarm! I don't want to oversleep! I need to get to my work on time, Mom. I need to go to some meetings. So I need to have an iPhone in my room so I can set my alarm and make sure I get to work on time, Mom.
Me (laughing): Nice try. You always wake up at 7; you don't need an alarm.
Theo (trying a second tactic): But Mom, I need a phone in my room in case the power goes out! So I can listen to music and check the time and set my alarm. Because I don't want to be late for work. I need it for when the power goes out, Mom. It helps me deal!

"It helps me deal"??? What is he, fifteen?!