Why I'm Dieting...

Theo has a tendency to ask the same questions every single day, multiple times a day. I think he just wants to talk and runs out of things to talk about, so he reuses old conversations. So, when it's something we've already discussed a zillion times, I usually remind him that he already knows the answer. And usually he does. But sometimes not so much. Like during today's conversation:

Theo: Mommy, why did we move out of our house at 133? [Our old street address was 133, and Theo likes to attach numbers to everything, so he calls that house "133."]
Me: I think you already know the answer to that.
Theo: Because you got too big to fit through the door.

Gee, thanks, kid! I may have put on a few pounds, but not that many!

(In reality, he means that our family outgrew the house, which is actually half of the answer. The other half is that Chris got a new job 100 miles away, so we had to relocate. Neither answer has anything to do with the size of my rear end!)

Presidential Facts

Theo: Mommy, who was the president in 1951?
Me: Harry Truman.
Theo: Actually, Mom, his name is Harry S. Truman.

I stand corrected. By a six-year-old.

Five Going on Forty...

Theo (who just went to the bathroom fifteen minutes prior): I need to go to the bathroom!
Chris: You just went!
Theo: But I need to pee AGAIN, Dad!

Chris: Well, we're on the highway right now...
Theo (completely seriously): Then I suggest you find an exit and get off.

Coaster Junkie!

The littlest peanut still doesn't speak...but he does squeal with joy sometimes! Especially when riding roller coasters. :-)

Um...What?!

Sam's speech therapist, likely expecting the simple response of "a sandwich," asked Theo this week what he was eating. "Bread," he said seriously. "It's very good. But it has xanthan gum in it. Can you eat xanthan gum?" 

She looked rather baffled, then started laughing and said, "I don't even know what that is!" She's the second person this week to have had that response. Theo is apparently educating the world about xanthan gum.

Job Interview...errr, Interrogation

I took Theo for a haircut this week. It was a new stylist. I don't think she was quite prepared for his line of questioning: "What's your name? How old are you? How old were you when you got your first job? What was your last job before this? Why did you leave? What about the job before that? Why did you leave it? How old were you? What job did you have before that? Did you go to college? Why not? How about high school? ..."

Fifteen minutes of rapid-fire interrogation. The woman earned her tip today! And I'm pretty sure Theo has a future as a government interrogator.

He Has High Hopes for Me

Theo greeted me the other day by coming downstairs and announcing, "Well, Mom, I hope you never go to prison."

Uh, yeah. I think it's a pretty safe bet that I won't.

The (Shredded) Rainbow Connection

Theo's school uses a "rainbow chart" for behavior. Every day, each child starts on green--a good day! If the child stays on green for 15 days, he moves to purple and earns extra privileges by virtue of being a "royal eagle." If the kiddo misbehaves, he moves down to yellow--a warning color. If the misbehavior continues, he moves to orange and loses part of recess. And so on. Perhaps not surprisingly, Theo spends a fair number of days on yellow, with the occasional move down to the dreaded orange. Lately, however, he had stayed on green for several days...until today. When I talked to him about it, though, he had a solution. "Well, Mom, do we have a shredder for Mrs. J's rainbow chart? Because I need to make a new chart for her, Mom. It will have just two colors: green and purple. That's all. No yellow, orange, red, or blue. Only green and purple. That's what I need to do, Mom." 

As always, I have to admire his ingenuity. One can never move down into the yellow zone if yellow no longer exists. Clever boy...