We had a sleep specialist come work with Sam last week, and Theo took quite a liking to her...and vice versa. They had a long conversation about many things, and at one point it came to this:
Theo: How old are you?
Dawn: I'm 62.
Theo: Wow, you're really old!
Not an ounce of rudeness in his reply--just awe that she was so very old. :-) Good thing she isn't one to mind questions about her age!
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
AC/DC Forever!
Although I like rock music, I don't like AC/DC. I think the lead singer's voice is grating, and their songs just aren't very catchy to me. So, Theo's iPod (which is filled with music from my collection) doesn't have any AC/DC on it. But he has heard AC/DC once or twice from Chris (who likes a couple of their songs). So yesterday, when he was puttering around on his iPod, I thought I was safe to have this conversation, knowing there was no AC/DC on the iPod:
Theo: Mom, do you like AC/DC?
Me: Theo, you've asked me that many times. You know I don't....
Theo: Would you like to listen to some AC/DC?
Me (sarcastically): Sure. I would love to hear "Back in Black."
Theo: Okay, iTunes Store... [He begins puttering with the iPhone]
Within 30 seconds, I hear the unmistakable strains of "Back in Black."
Me: Theo, how did you find that??
Theo: On the iTunes Store....
So apparently, despite the fact that I don't own this song, he figured out that he could go to the iTunes Store, type in "ACDC," and scroll through the songs in the store to find a clip of "Back in Black."
That child never ceases to amaze me...much to my chagrin when it comes to songs I don't like!
Theo: Mom, do you like AC/DC?
Me: Theo, you've asked me that many times. You know I don't....
Theo: Would you like to listen to some AC/DC?
Me (sarcastically): Sure. I would love to hear "Back in Black."
Theo: Okay, iTunes Store... [He begins puttering with the iPhone]
Within 30 seconds, I hear the unmistakable strains of "Back in Black."
Me: Theo, how did you find that??
Theo: On the iTunes Store....
So apparently, despite the fact that I don't own this song, he figured out that he could go to the iTunes Store, type in "ACDC," and scroll through the songs in the store to find a clip of "Back in Black."
That child never ceases to amaze me...much to my chagrin when it comes to songs I don't like!
The Lies Must End
I make it a point to tell Theo the truth most of the time. But there are times when a little fib is just easier. Alas, he can now call me out on those, so I think I'm going to have to move on to full honesty. I came upon this realization on Saturday, when we had the following conversation at 9:30 a.m. (too early for a sandwich) when Theo spied a Subway shop:
Theo: Mom, I want to go to Subway!
Me: Not today, buddy.
Theo: Why?
Me: They're closed.
Theo: Then why does the sign over the door say "open"?
I had no good answer for that....
Theo: Mom, I want to go to Subway!
Me: Not today, buddy.
Theo: Why?
Me: They're closed.
Theo: Then why does the sign over the door say "open"?
I had no good answer for that....
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
She's Kind of a Big Girl...
This morning, Theo was sick so I had to keep him home from preschool. It happened to be Sam's PT morning, so his therapist arrived at 8:30 a.m., ready to work. I don't think she was expecting to be interrogated about elevators by a certain four-year-old, but she gamely went along with it while she worked with Sam. At some point, Theo ran out of questions about elevators and changed his line of interrogation:
Theo: Hey, how much do you weigh?
Me: Theo, it's not polite to ask that....
Michelle (laughing): How much do I weigh? Oh, probably too much. [A complete lie--she's in fantastic shape and is tiny!]
Theo: Why do you weigh too much?
Michelle: Oh, I should probably lose about 10 pounds....
Theo: Ten pounds...wow. Are you going to break a chair?
Oh my...
Theo: Hey, how much do you weigh?
Me: Theo, it's not polite to ask that....
Michelle (laughing): How much do I weigh? Oh, probably too much. [A complete lie--she's in fantastic shape and is tiny!]
Theo: Why do you weigh too much?
Michelle: Oh, I should probably lose about 10 pounds....
Theo: Ten pounds...wow. Are you going to break a chair?
Oh my...
That Crazy Memory
Okay, this isn't really a funny post, but it just amazed me, so I decided it deserved mention. I frequently make mix CDs for the car--combining a random assortment of whatever suits my fancy on a CD. I probably have about a dozen of them in my car at the moment, but my CD player only holds six CDs. So, every so often I rotate them. Yesterday, I put in a mix CD that I haven't played in at least six months. AT LEAST six months. Theo heard the first song and immediately said, "Change to track 20, please. I want to hear Adele."
Now, I couldn't have told you what was on that CD. I haven't listened to it in at least six months, so I had no idea what songs it might include. But I switched to track 20 and what do you know? It was Adele.
His memory astounds me....
Now, I couldn't have told you what was on that CD. I haven't listened to it in at least six months, so I had no idea what songs it might include. But I switched to track 20 and what do you know? It was Adele.
His memory astounds me....
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Talking to the Authorities
For a long time, Theo thought Chris and I knew everything. Now he has decided that if he doesn't like our answers, he'll take it upon himself to go further up the ladder to get some results.
This first happened last week, when I was taking him to the dentist. His dentist is in an old two-story building that doesn't have an elevator. (It is built into the side of a hill, so there are ramps and such that make it disabled-accessible.) I can't tell you how many times I've told him that there is no elevator in the building, but he doesn't believe me.
We were running late to the dentist, so I called them to say we'd be five minutes late. Theo had been hammering me for a good 15 minutes about the darn elevator, and when I hung up the phone, he said, "Wait--I needed to talk to them! Can you call them back?"
"Why?" I asked. "Because I need to ask them about the elevator," he informed me. Aha. My 15 minutes of insisting that there is no elevator in the building apparently means nothing. And yes, when we got to the dentist, he strode right up to the office manager and inquired about the elevator, and whether they might have an escalator instead.
This was again an issue two days ago. We went to Kaiser, and the building we were in has an elevator. But it's a very small building, so I assumed there was just the one elevator. Theo, however, insisted that there was a second one. Being the fool that I am, I assumed that I was right, so I said, "No, Theo, I'm quite sure there's only one elevator in this building!"
"I'll go check," he told me.
"No," I said, "you'll stay here in the pediatrician's office with me."
So what did he do? Waited patiently until we were called to the reception window, and then strode up and said, "Um, hi. Do you have two elevators in this building?" The receptionist said that yes, they did...and now I'm quite sure I'll never hear the end of it!
This first happened last week, when I was taking him to the dentist. His dentist is in an old two-story building that doesn't have an elevator. (It is built into the side of a hill, so there are ramps and such that make it disabled-accessible.) I can't tell you how many times I've told him that there is no elevator in the building, but he doesn't believe me.
We were running late to the dentist, so I called them to say we'd be five minutes late. Theo had been hammering me for a good 15 minutes about the darn elevator, and when I hung up the phone, he said, "Wait--I needed to talk to them! Can you call them back?"
"Why?" I asked. "Because I need to ask them about the elevator," he informed me. Aha. My 15 minutes of insisting that there is no elevator in the building apparently means nothing. And yes, when we got to the dentist, he strode right up to the office manager and inquired about the elevator, and whether they might have an escalator instead.
This was again an issue two days ago. We went to Kaiser, and the building we were in has an elevator. But it's a very small building, so I assumed there was just the one elevator. Theo, however, insisted that there was a second one. Being the fool that I am, I assumed that I was right, so I said, "No, Theo, I'm quite sure there's only one elevator in this building!"
"I'll go check," he told me.
"No," I said, "you'll stay here in the pediatrician's office with me."
So what did he do? Waited patiently until we were called to the reception window, and then strode up and said, "Um, hi. Do you have two elevators in this building?" The receptionist said that yes, they did...and now I'm quite sure I'll never hear the end of it!
The Losing Team
Theo was messing around at the lunch table yesterday, and after a couple of warnings, Teacher Amanda said she removed him from the table. She told me she tried to talk to him about it afterward, and the conversation went like this:
Amanda: Theo, you lost your privilege...
Theo (interrupting with a wail): But I don't want to lose like the 49ers!
Evidently their Super Bowl loss was harder on him than we knew!
Amanda: Theo, you lost your privilege...
Theo (interrupting with a wail): But I don't want to lose like the 49ers!
Evidently their Super Bowl loss was harder on him than we knew!
Male Fashion
Another interesting car-chat with Theo:
Theo: Mom, do you wear a bra to bed?
Me: Yes, I do.
Theo: All women wear bras, Mom. But only some men do. Not all men. Just some...
I don't really want to think about that....
Theo: Mom, do you wear a bra to bed?
Me: Yes, I do.
Theo: All women wear bras, Mom. But only some men do. Not all men. Just some...
I don't really want to think about that....
The Very Long Time-Out
Theo's been getting in a bit of trouble at school lately, and he was talking to me about it in the car:
Theo: And if you are messing around at the lunch table, Mom, you will get a very, very long time-out.
Me: I see. Did Teacher Amanda give you a long time-out?
Theo: Yeah...
Me: Oh. Well, maybe you shouldn't mess around at the lunch table....
Theo: It was a big, big time-out, Mom. I think it was about 66 minutes.
Me (laughing): Sixty-six minutes? Probably not quite...
Theo: Sixty-six minutes, Mom. Or maybe a thousand....
That's really quite a time-out. Not that I haven't been tempted to put him on a thousand-minute time-out myself....
Theo: And if you are messing around at the lunch table, Mom, you will get a very, very long time-out.
Me: I see. Did Teacher Amanda give you a long time-out?
Theo: Yeah...
Me: Oh. Well, maybe you shouldn't mess around at the lunch table....
Theo: It was a big, big time-out, Mom. I think it was about 66 minutes.
Me (laughing): Sixty-six minutes? Probably not quite...
Theo: Sixty-six minutes, Mom. Or maybe a thousand....
That's really quite a time-out. Not that I haven't been tempted to put him on a thousand-minute time-out myself....
The Bitter Taste of My Own Words
Ah, Theo has reached the age where he throws my words back at me. For example, yesterday morning I said in exasperation (having said the same thing several times already): "Theo, be gentle with your brother! You need to hug him gently!"
To which Theo responded, "Mom, what is the problem today? Why are you being so feisty?"
Yup, you can guess where he got that phrasing from! Sigh...
To which Theo responded, "Mom, what is the problem today? Why are you being so feisty?"
Yup, you can guess where he got that phrasing from! Sigh...
Monday, February 11, 2013
I'm Raising a Smartass
I expected my offspring to be smartasses, since I tend to be a bit of one myself. I did not, however, expect this trait to show up so soon. Here's the latest exchange I had with smartass Theo:
Theo (playing Scrabble on the iPod in the car): I'm going to use a P as in penis!
Me: Theo, you know that's not appropriate.
Theo: Okay, Mom, then I'm just going to use a B as in bottom...[waits a beat]...of the ocean!
Little stinker! He got me on that one....
Theo (playing Scrabble on the iPod in the car): I'm going to use a P as in penis!
Me: Theo, you know that's not appropriate.
Theo: Okay, Mom, then I'm just going to use a B as in bottom...[waits a beat]...of the ocean!
Little stinker! He got me on that one....
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Call Him Jimmy Dean
At karate tonight, the instructor was talking to the kids about fitness. The conversation was pretty entertaining--particularly when Theo chimed in with his ideas about healthful eating.
Sensei Alex (the instructor): What are some things we can do to be healthy and fit?
Child #1: Exercise!
S. Alex: Yes, exercise! Great! What else?
Child #2: Eat healthy foods!
S. Alex: That's right! What are some healthy foods?
Child #2: Vegetables!
S. Alex: Right! What vegetables do you like?
Child #3: Broccoli!
S. Alex: Broccoli! I love broccoli--yes! What else?
Theo: Um, and you can also eat sausage to be healthy!
S. Alex (stifling a smile): Sausage! Well...yes. Sausage is a meat, so you can get protein from it. Now, what other vegetables do we like?
Child #4: Cucumbers! [Okay, they're a fruit, but who's checking?]
Theo: And actually, another vegetable is...sausage!
What can I say? The kid loves his sausage....
Sensei Alex (the instructor): What are some things we can do to be healthy and fit?
Child #1: Exercise!
S. Alex: Yes, exercise! Great! What else?
Child #2: Eat healthy foods!
S. Alex: That's right! What are some healthy foods?
Child #2: Vegetables!
S. Alex: Right! What vegetables do you like?
Child #3: Broccoli!
S. Alex: Broccoli! I love broccoli--yes! What else?
Theo: Um, and you can also eat sausage to be healthy!
S. Alex (stifling a smile): Sausage! Well...yes. Sausage is a meat, so you can get protein from it. Now, what other vegetables do we like?
Child #4: Cucumbers! [Okay, they're a fruit, but who's checking?]
Theo: And actually, another vegetable is...sausage!
What can I say? The kid loves his sausage....
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Editor in Training
Well, Theo may be following in his parents' footsteps. The budding editor tried to correct my spelling yesterday. We had this exchange:
Theo: Mom, how do you spell "Roxanne?" [He wanted to look up the song by the Police on YouTube.]
Me: R-o-x-
Theo (interrupting): No, Mom! ROCK-san! ROCK!
He looked at me like I was an idiot because clearly anyone can tell that after the R-o-, the next letter sound is /k/, and thus the next letter should be a C or a K, not an X!
Theo: Mom, how do you spell "Roxanne?" [He wanted to look up the song by the Police on YouTube.]
Me: R-o-x-
Theo (interrupting): No, Mom! ROCK-san! ROCK!
He looked at me like I was an idiot because clearly anyone can tell that after the R-o-, the next letter sound is /k/, and thus the next letter should be a C or a K, not an X!
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