Ladies Man

Yesterday morning, Lisa and I took the boys to the park: Theo (almost 4), Cason (14 months), and Sam (3 weeks). Sam slept the whole time (of course!) while Cason and Theo honed their skills with the ladies. Cason set his sights on a pair of eight-year-old twins, who first wanted to hug him and then complained to their Mom, "The little boy grabbed us!" when Cason tried to grope them. Meanwhile, Theo was on the playground, making eyes at a three-year-old girl who he fell in love with the minute she threw her bucket and shovel down the metal slide, making a wonderful crash and clatter. First he sat at the top of the slide, yelling, "Yiddle girl! Do you want to come back up here?" Then he ventured down to the sand and went up to her, delivering this suave line: "Yiddle girl, would you like to come show me something?"

Yeah, he sounds like a tiny little creep, doesn't he? That's my boy!

The Muppets Take the Government

This morning I was half watching the news while I nursed Sam, and Theo wandered into the room, pointed to the TV, and said, "Look, Mommy! It's a Muppet!"

Actually, it was Rick Santorum. And I'd probably be more likely to vote for an actual Muppet than for him, so it gave me a good laugh. :-)

Phone Pals

Yesterday, I was driving with Theo and Sam in the car. Theo was playing with my old iPhone, pretending to call people, and we had this exchange:

Theo: I need to make some calls...
Me: Oh, who are you calling?
Theo: I'm just calling Neil Diamond back. [Because apparently Neil Diamond must've called him earlier?!]
Me: Oh, is he home?
Theo (into the phone): HI NEIL DIAMOND!!! ARE YOU HOME?!

Apparently he was, and they had a nice chat after Theo bellowed at the poor guy. :-)

Sweetness

Okay, this isn't a funny utterance from the peanut gallery, but rather one that's so sweet I had to post it. We were coming back from Albany yesterday, where I met with a lactation consultant about Sam's feeding. Sam was worn out from nearly two hours of trying breastfeeding techniques, so he was crashed in his car seat. Theo was next to him, and he suddenly said, "Do you hear your [my] little brother? He makes the most beautiful sounds!"

Indeed, my child--and what a beautiful way to think about him!

Fashion Guru

A few days ago, my friend Jeanette came to meet Sam and visit Theo (and us!), and she brought with her a big bag full of clothes that her son, Justin, has outgrown. Theo was very interested in the bag and wanted to know what was in it. "Some clothes for Sammy, when he gets bigger," I said. He replied, "I fink these are yucky ones!" I was a bit taken aback, as I couldn't figure out why on earth he thought Auntie Jeanette would bring us "yucky clothes"--until Chris pointed out that Jeanette brought the clothes in a garbage bag!

And here I just thought my preschooler had extremely discriminating taste in clothing... :-)

Assigning Blame

And let the time-honored tradition of blaming one's younger sibling begin! Theo and I had this conversation this morning:

Theo (with much alarm): I can't find my "Body and the Beat" CD!!
Me: Why don't you check downstairs? I think I saw it down in your playroom.
Theo: "No, it's not there! I fink my baby brudder took it!"

Yeah, Sam's pretty clever, but I don't think he's old enough to mastermind a CD heist yet....

Lactation

Little Mr. Sam is not nursing well yet, so I'm having to do a lot of pumping of breast milk. This requires the use of a giant hospital-grade pump that looks somewhat like a car battery. Attached to it are two nifty funnels that I attach to my breasts, and the milk goes from them into bottles. As you can imagine, such a neat gadget is just fabulously exciting to a three-year-old. And so, Theo quizzed me quite a bit the first time he saw me using the pump. After I had explained it to his satisfaction, he announced happily, "When I grow up, I will use a breast pump, too!"

Um...I'll be interested to see the results, man....

The Newest Peanut

Apologies for the week of radio silence around here--I was busy bringing the newest peanut into the world! The newest addition to the peanut gallery is of the Samuel Ames variety. This is a very rare, special, genetically enhanced peanut found in only 1 of 700 peanut births. Samuel Ames peanuts are very small, perfectly beautiful peanuts--so scrumptious-looking you could just eat them right up! They are a mild, mellow peanut not known for the acidity and punch of the Theodore Henry variety. These peanuts, however, are known to start sharing their wisdom a bit later than most other varieties of peanuts, so expect to hear far more from the Theodore Henry peanut than from the Samuel Ames peanut for a while. At the moment, the Samuel Ames peanut just gives suspicious glances every now and then upon making peanut poop....

Baby Excitement

Yesterday was music-class day, and we arrived a few minutes early. One of Theo's classmates was outside--a little girl named Kylie--so we stopped to chat with her and her nanny for a bit. Theo and the nanny had an interesting little talk about his latest obsession (diapers):

Theo: Hi Kylie! Mommy, I fink Kylie is wearing a diaper.
Me (wondering whether I ought to clue in my son that a gentleman doesn't discuss a lady's undergarments): Well, she might be, or she might be wearing underpants...
Theo: Your [my] baby brother will wear diapers!
Nanny: Theo, do you have a baby brother coming?
Theo: Yes, I do. (He answers almost everything in full, formal sentences lately--quite amusing!)
Nanny: Are you excited about your new baby brother?
Theo: Um...the baby will eat and sleep and poop in his diaper!

Well...yeah. I guess that does pretty much sum up the excitement surrounding a newborn. They eat. They sleep. They poop. Yep, the boy's got it down....

Neil Diamond's Birthday

Theo is a huge Neil Diamond fan. This cracks me up. He heard Neil Diamond because I have a couple of his songs on my iPod. I do like some of his songs, but I can't say I'm a huge fan or anything. But Theo is! He loves, loves, loves Neil Diamond.

Anyway, Mr. Diamond's birthday was recently, I noticed, and I commented on it to Theo. He looked interested but didn't say anything more about it...until just a few days ago. He was going on and on about wanting a tuba, and we had this conversation:

Theo: Feo want a tuba for my birthday! I need to ask Santa Claus for one...

Me: Well, Santa Claus doesn't come for birthdays. Only Mommy and Daddy. And I hate to tell you this, but you're a little too small for a tuba just yet. You might have to wait a few years to get one.

Theo: Neil Diamond got a tuba for his birthday!

Me: Really? 

Theo: No, actually he got a trumpet. Neil Diamond got a trumpet for his birthday. Feo is going to get a tuba.

Me: Oh, I didn't know Neil Diamond got a trumpet for his birthday...

Theo: He did, Mama! He did! Neil Diamond got a trumpet for his birthday! And Feo will get a tuba...

Sounds like a fine birthday for Mr. Diamond. I'm not sure he even plays the trumpet, but I'm sure it was a lovely gift. And perhaps when "Feo" gets his tuba, the two of them can do some sort of brass duet.