Elevator Madness

Theo has become obsessed with elevators lately. In particular, Dover elevators are his favorite. He watches videos of them on YouTube ad nauseum. Yes, videos of elevators exist, and they are exactly what they sound like--someone films riding on an elevator. It's...riveting. Well, really not, but Theo thinks it is.

This week, we had to take Sam to Kaiser to get his ears checked. Upon arrival, Theo raced into the elevator and shouted gleefully, "Mom! It's a DOVER!!!" I asked how he knew it was a Dover, and he pointed to a very small plaque way up high, proclaiming the elevator the work of the great Dover Company. He then proceeded to look down through the crack at the base of the door, saying, "Let's look at the shaft, Mom." After that, he peered up toward the crack at the top of the door, announcing, "Now we can look at the mechanism, Mom."

The other woman in the elevator looked a cross between puzzled and amused and finally said, "Wow. That's really amazing that he knows that...."

Yep, he's pretty amazing! Similarly, the receptionist, nurse, and doctor were all rather amused when Theo marched up to them and announced, "We just rode a Dover elevator!" And then when Sam had his ears cleaned out (which he did not enjoy), his excellent big brother held his hand and said, "It's all right, Sammy. Maybe a ride on the Dover elevator will make you feel better!"

He's so delightfully odd sometimes. I just never know what's going to come out of his mouth!

Piece of Cake

Sam's birthday is coming up, so Theo and I were discussing cakes. And then the topic turned to the cake for HIS birthday in a few months.

Me: What kind of cake do YOU want, Theo?
Theo: A big trombone!
Me: Ha! That's going to be a little hard for me to make. Do you have a backup idea?
Theo: Um...how about a toilet?
Me (trying very hard not to laugh): I'm not making you a toilet cake.
Theo: Why?
Me: Because it's not appropriate!
Theo: Okay, how about a butt cake, then?

Mmmm, mmmm...who wants a piece of butt cake?

How Babies Are Made

I thought we were going to have The Conversation last night. You know--the one about how babies are made. But the conversation took an unexpected turn:

Theo: Mom, who made me?
Me: Oh! Well, Daddy and I did.
Theo: No!
Me: No???
Theo: No, the workers made me.
Me: What workers?
Theo: The ones at the factory.
Me: Ohhhh...you were made in a factory? (Hmmm, I remember production quite well, and I'm very certain it didn't take place in a factory!!)
Theo: Yes.
Me: What factory? What's it called?
Theo: The Boy Factory.

So there you go, folks...how little boys are made!

Well, That's a New One...

Theo met his new OT today, and they had this fun conversation:

Kirsten: Hi, Theo! Do you like to be called Theodore or Theo?
Theo: I like to be called Spider-Man.

He then proceeded to serenade her with "Surfin' Safari." Because apparently Spider-Man is a big Beach Boys fan....

Odd Nighttime Conversations

We're giving Theo some more freedoms now that he's getting more mature. One is that he can get out of bed and go to the bathroom on his own in the middle of the night. (We used to have him call for us if he needed us. Honestly, he rarely woke up, so it wasn't an issue. But lately he does, and he's old enough to take care of it on his own, so...)

So the other night, I was heading up to bed at 10pm, and I came across Theo standing in the hallway. He'd been in bed for three hours at that point, so I hardly expected to see him up. And we had this chat:

Me: Oh! You're awake! What are you doing?
Theo: I'm just getting more water, Mom.
Me: Ah, gotcha. Okay, well, then go back to bed now.
Theo: Okay, Mom. But one more thing...
Me: What?
Theo: Um...Journey rocks.

And with that, he turned on his heel and went back to bed. I'm not sure why he felt compelled to express his love of the band Journey at 10pm, in the middle of a water break, but apparently he did. And only that. No prolonged discussion, just a simple statement that Journey rocks. Indeed...

At Least He's Polite...

I took Theo for his first guitar lesson tonight, and it was...well, quite amusing, really. Much of the lesson consisted of his teacher, Richard, restringing and tuning his guitar for him. And Theo was enormously patient, waiting and waiting for it to be time to actually play. Richard was talking to him a bit while restringing, but it was still a rather tedious process. Evidently Theo thought so, too. After sitting patiently for at least 15 minutes, he said, in his politest tone, "Richard, is that kind of hard for you? Is that why it's taking so long?"

Best part of the lesson was watching the rather serious British guitar teacher try to hold back a laugh as he nodded and said, "Well, yes, I guess it is rather difficult for me, isn't it?"

A Clever Solution

Like most young kids, Theo likes attention...a lot. At times, he tends to interrupt a lot and demand attention when grown-ups are trying to talk. When he does this, we use a discipline strategy called "1-2-3 Magic" (based on a popular parenting book). Basically, when the child is engaging in a negative behavior, you calmly count to three before sending him to his room. If he self-corrects his behavior on number one or two, then he avoids a time out. If he doesn't, he gets sent to his room on three.

No strategy is foolproof (at least for us!), but this one generally works pretty well. So yesterday, Chris got home from work, and we were trying to talk about an insurance issue. Theo was rather hungry and feisty by that time, so he went into full-on "interrupt" mode. Chris calmly said, "One," which signaled Theo that he ought to correct his behavior. Theo scurried off, chattering loudly to himself, and we ignored him and continued our conversation. Until a minute later, when he ran back up, waving a paper upon which he had written a nice, big zero.

"I wrote a zero! I wrote a zero!" he insisted loudly.

"Yes," I said calmly. "And you're interrupting. That's two."

"No!" he exclaimed. "I wrote a zero so we will always be at zero! We will never be at one, two, three! I have a zero!"

I had to hide my laugh. I thought it was a pretty clever solution! Let me put that in writing, people--I'm at zero, not at one, two, or three!!

Clothing-Optional Concert

Boys are just weird. I was working in the den, and Theo came in to say goodnight. When I turned around to tell him goodnight, he was stark naked, save for black socks. He then started to dance naked in front of the mirror, laughing like crazy, and announced, "Look at me! I'm one of the Black Eyed Peas!"

I wonder if the Peas are aware of this new concert attire he has planned for them...

Outfoxed Again!

Yesterday, we headed out to the park. But not just any park--one in a neighboring town. We decided to go to a gluten-free restaurant for lunch and then visit a park near there. So, it was a bit of a drive. And Theo asked at least 15 times, "What time are we going to get to the park?" Actually, 15 times may be understating it. Anyway, after being asked for the umpteenth time, we were both rather exasperated, and it came to this:

Theo: What time are we going to get to the park?
Chris (in exasperation): Theo, if I hear that question again, we're not going to the park!
Theo (without missing a beat): Okay, Dad, what time are we going to get off the road?

Final score: Theo 1, Chris 0.