More About Booze

On the way to school the other day, Theo hatched an elaborate plan:

Theo: Mommy, when I turn 21, I am going to stop the UPS truck that carries all of the wine, and I am going to tell the drivers, "Give me that wine!" 

Me: Why?

Theo: Because I like alcohol. [Correction: He likes the idea of alcohol, because it's forbidden. He has never tasted it.]

Me: You don't even know what it tastes like.

Theo: It tastes like grape juice, Mommy, but fermented—kinda bitter. [Hmmm, fairly true...]

Me: Well, your plan is against the law, you know...

Theo: I'll need to bring two wine glasses, Mommy.

Me: What for? [Foolish me, I thought maybe he was going to sweetly share his wine haul with me.]

Theo: So I can drink all that wine faster!

Dear god. A wine-chugger at age six....