Mr. Outgoing

It has gotten pretty hilarious to take Theo anywhere, because he's become a total social butterfly. There is no shyness in that child, which is pretty remarkable given that he is the offspring of two shy wallflowers! Unlike his reticent parents, Theo will charge right up to anyone and start a conversation. And I don't think his victims are quite expecting the questions he lobs at them--they aren't quite the typical four-year-old questions. Today provides a good example. I took the boys to a local health-food store in search of chia-seed meal (to thicken Sam's liquids, so I don't have to keep using the chemical stuff). Theo announced loudly as we walked in the door, "Wow! Look at this great store! I'm so excited to look around!" Then he charged through the store exclaiming over all of the health-food items. In the bulk-items section, he encountered his first victim:

Theo: Hello! Hey, she's wearing shoes that are hard to walk on! [Pointing to a woman in low heels.]
Me: Yes, I suppose she is.
Woman in Heels: Well, hello. Yes, I am wearing shoes that are hard to walk on. But they're just little heels.
Theo: Why are they little heels? Why aren't you wearing big ones?
WiH: Well, I guess I like the little ones....
Theo: Um, do you have any kids? (He asks this of everyone--he even asked an 11-year-old this the other day!)
WiH: I do. I have a son. How old are you?
Theo: I'm four-and-a-half! How old are you?
Me: Theo, it's not polite to ask grown-ups that....
WiH: I'm 55.
Theo: Are you old?
WiH: Well, I'm older than you....
Theo: Hey, how old are your kids?
WiH: My son is 24.
Theo: Is he big?
WiH: Yes, he's very tall. Are you shopping with your Mom?
Theo: Yes, I am!

And he started to talk her ear off some more, but I ushered him away so the woman would be spared further interrogation. A few minutes later, Theo spotted his next victim.

Theo: Mom! Why is that lady buying so much stuff?
Me: Maybe she hasn't been shopping in a while and she needs it.
Theo: Why does she need it?

I aimed him the other way before he could start interrogating her, but then he saw a bicycle parked at the front of the store as we approached the checkstand.

Theo: Mom! Why is there a bicycle in here?
Me: Because someone rode it to the store, I suppose.
Theo: Was it that man?  [Pointing to a man near the bike.]
Me: Probably.
Theo (louder): Um, hey! Did you ride your bike to the store? Is that your bike?

The man, a reclusive-seeming type, didn't say a word but nodded shyly. Theo, seeing no willing victim in him, began talking the cashier's ear off instead.

We were in the store for about four minutes. FOUR minutes. As entertaining as it was, you can see why I generally shop when a certain interrogator is in school!