Women's Work

Yesterday, Theo and I had this conversation in the car:
Theo: Mommy, are you a girl?
Me: Yes, I am.
Theo: So do you vacuum?
Me (after briefly recoiling at the fact that my son apparently sees vacuuming as going hand in hand with being a "girl"): Yes. But so does Daddy. Boys and men can vacuum too, you know.
Oh dear. I must nip in the bud this notion of "women's work!"

It's a Living...

Theo is lately very interested in Chris's job. He wants to know exactly what Chris does, where he does it, why he does it, etc. I explain these things to him and then tell him that I work, too--because for whatever reason, it bugs me to think that in Theo's mind, Chris is the only one who works. (My own insecurity, I know...)
So yesterday, we had this discussion:
Theo: What are we going to do on Thursday?
Me: Well, you'll go to preschool, and Daddy and I will work.
Theo: What does Daddy work at?
Me: In South San Francisco. And Mommy works at home.
Theo: I work, too.
Me: Really? What do you do? What's your job?
Theo: I do dress-up and buy the food.
Aha! I see that his playing dress-up with his friends at school has evolved, and he now dresses up and does the shopping. I'd love to be a fly on the wall and see this....

Culinary Delights

Today, Sam had his first bite of real food: peaches! Although I knew Theo would enjoy "helping" to feed Sam, I decided to do it while he was in his room on Quiet Time, since the first time can be a bit tricky. When Theo came downstairs and saw the empty bowl with a baby spoon in it, he said, "What's that?!" I explained that Sammy had tried peaches, and Theo said, "Can I share some peaches with him?" I replied that he could the next time I fed Sam, and he then said, "Actually, can Sammy have some salami?"

Hmmm, I don't think heavily processed, cured meats are on the "Approved Baby's First Foods" list!

The Pitfalls of Pee

Theo has recently begun standing to pee (which is actually rather comical, since he tends to stretch his "parts" out like a piece of Silly Putty--ouch!). The other day, I was trying to shove a tuna sandwich down my throat quickly, while Sam wailed. (He's in a "hold me all the time, Mommy!" phase, but my back was killing me after a couple of weeks of this, so I put him down to eat my sandwich.) Theo chose that moment to have to go potty, and I heard this from the bathroom:

Theo: Mommy! I made a HUGE poop!
Me (around a mouthful of tuna): Terrific. Be sure to wipe yourself and then flush.
Theo: And actually, Mom, I peed all over my socks.
Me (snickering around said mouthful of tuna): Okay, that happens. Just take them off and leave them in the bathroom for me.

A few minutes later, I see Theo wandering around with his socks on.

Me: Theo, I told you to take off your socks and leave them in the bathroom for me!
Theo: Actually, I'm just wearing them wif pee, Mommy.

Of course...why not?!

Hit Man

I'm beginning to fear for my life. Theo desperately wants to go to daycare (because his lady love Paulina goes), and he has hatched a plan to bump off me and Chris so he can go. The discussion went something like this:

Theo: I want to go to daycare!
Me: You don't have to go to daycare--Mommy works at home so she can stay home with you.
Theo: When I don't have a mommy and daddy anymore, then I can go to daycare!
Me: You're always going to have a mommy and daddy....
Theo: When mommy and daddy go on vacation, then I can go to daycare!
Me: Well, usually you go with us on vacation....
Theo: When mommy and daddy are in the stars, then I can go to daycare!

"In the stars" is his description of what most people would call heaven--where people go when they die. We haven't wanted to get into discussions of religion with him, so it's been easiest to just tell him that deceased people and animals are "in the stars."

That said, if I find out he has taken out a large insurance policy on our heads, I'm going to be really worried.

Ruled by Logic

The thing that drives Chris most nuts about me is the fact that I'm logical to a fault. It seems that Theo has followed in my footsteps. Yesterday, we had this conversation when I noticed that he had colored the inside of our van with crayons.

Me: Theo, why did you color the inside of the van?!
Theo: Because I didn't have any paper.

Logical, yes? But here's the illogical kicker: He hates coloring and usually will only do it under duress! So why he suddenly felt compelled to color the inside of the van is beyond me! And don't ask me how he got crayons in the van--I have no idea. I suspect Chris, since I know I didn't give them to him!

He's in Good Company

Theo is certain he was present at Chris's and my wedding. And despite my grandmother's suspicions, he was not--he became a twinkle in our eyes about three weeks after the fact. But I don't care to explain conception and such to him in great detail at this point, so our recent conversation went like this:

Theo: Mommy and Daddy got married there [pointing to the lodge where we were married]!
Me: Yep!
Theo: And I was there, too!
Me: Nope, you weren't there.
Theo: Where was I?
Me: You weren't here with us yet.
Theo: But where was I?
Me: You hadn't been made yet. You remember how Sammy grew in my tummy for a long time? So did you--but you hadn't even started to grow in my tummy when we got married.
Theo: Well, where was I?
Me: Um...you were in the stars.
Theo: I was up in the stars with Johnny Cash!

Interesting. Who knew he was hanging out with the Man in Black while he waited to grace us with his presence?!