Spanx Me!

Theo likes to help me get ready in the morning. As I was about to get out of the shower, he gathered my towel, a Q-tip, the hairdryer, and my underwear. This morning, he gave me two undie choices--a purple pair and a teeny-tiny pair of Spanx I wore to my wedding, almost five years (and several pounds) ago. This wouldn't be nearly so amusing if I wasn't almost eight months' pregnant. There's just no way those Spanx are ever going to fit right now--imagine trying to shoehorn an elephant into a pair of size-0 skinny jeans. So I laughed and said, "I don't think those will fit right now. I'll take the purple pair." Theo scurried away to put the Spanx back in my drawer, muttering, "Okay, you can try this pair tomorrow, then." Guess I better go hide those--or find a shoehorn to try to wedge myself into them!

So THAT's What's in a Diaper...

Theo has a new baby brother due to arrive in a couple of months. To help prepare him to become a big brother, my Mom got him a baby-boy doll. Theo is fascinated by his baby, and we had this exchange this morning:

Theo: I need to check the baby's diaper.
Me: Okay, is there anything in there?
Theo: Yes, there is. There's a penis.
Me: Oh, okay. Anything else? What about poop?
Theo: No, just a penis.

It's worth noting that I got curious and checked out said baby-boy doll. Although he is garbed in boy clothes, he's anatomically androgynous. But clearly, since he's wearing a blue baseball cap and blue clothes, he must have a penis. Or so sayeth the three-year-old...