The Tiny Peanut Speaks

As I've said, the littlest peanut is mostly nonverbal, so he doesn't get much coverage on here. But every so often he voices his opinion. Like when I need to take the trash out instead of reading "My Truck Is Stuck" for the umpteenth time. Then he stomps over to the cupboard, slams the door shut so I can't get the trash out, and bellows "ALL DONE!"

That's One Solution...

Theo has a tendency to not eat his lunch at school...and then be very grumpy due to low blood sugar when I pick him up. So when I nagged him about it for the umpteenth time, his cranky reply was, "Well, if you don't want me to come home with so much food left in my lunch bag, you should pack me a smaller lunch!"

Well, I suppose that's one solution. Although I hardly think the small three items that I pack him constitutes a big lunch....

Inventor

I always have some interesting chats with Theo on the way to school. One morning last month (I'm woefully behind on posting these!), it was about his plans to build a metal detector so he can better search for coins.

"Mom, here's what you need—two things. You need a radio—the old-fashioned kind, not an iPod. And you need a calculator. You turn the radio way up high on the dial—so high that it just sounds like static. Then you connect the calculator to it. Then it will work like a metal detector, so you can find coins." 

Why do I think that in some crazy way, this might work?!

Steep Fines!

Overheard while I was working at Chris was watching the boys downstairs: Negative behavior from a certain first-grader, resulting in said first-grader's father sending him to his room. The angry first-grader then yelled, "Dad, I do NOT want to be in my room! You need to pay me $8,800!!"

No idea of the significance of this number, but it seems like quite a hefty fine!

Job Opportunities

My biggest client closed their doors several weeks ago, so we've had to make some necessary budget cuts to account for the large drop in income. Theo wasn't thrilled by some of them, so I tried to make it into a teachable moment when he grumpily announced that I should just "make more money."

Me: Well, it's not that easy. People need to hire you for you to be able to make money.

Theo: Well, Mom, you could go work at Safeway.

Me: Yes, I could. It's been a long time since I worked at a grocery store, though. I don't have much recent experience.

Theo: Well, then you could go work at Starbucks!

Me: Wouldn't that be fun? But I don't know how to make coffee. I'm not sure they'd hire me.

Theo: Okay, then how about you go work with Daddy at Genentech?

Me: I've thought about that, but you know what? I'd never see you guys! I'd be working all day Monday through Friday, and I wouldn't get to take time off to do stuff with your school. I like to work at home so I can spend time with you and Sam.

Theo: Okay, then maybe you can earn some money by taking the yard waste out to the curb on garbage day.

Me: That's your job. Are you going to pay me?

Theo: Yes. Also, you can make some money raking leaves.

Me: And you're going to pay me?

Theo: Yes. On credit. How much do I need to pay you?

Me: Oh, I think $1,000 sounds fair....

Theo: No, I think more like 50 cents, Mom. Two quarters. That's enough to get you started, Mom.

Good that I have him to look out for my financial future....

Bear Safety

Theo, on bear safety:

Theo: Mom, what if I saw a bear?

Me: Well, we don't really have bears around here. A mountain lion would be more likely.

Theo: But what if I did? What if I was somewhere and saw a bear?

Me: Then you should try to make yourself look as BIG as possible, and make a lot of noise. Don't run, because if you run the bear will think you're another animal, and it might chase you.

Theo: Or I could just use a gun and shoot it.

Me: Well, that's a rather drastic step, but yes, I suppose that is one answer. But you won't have a gun if you're a kid. And hopefully not as an adult, either.

Theo: Well, I could also just distract the bear by juggling.

Indeed. I hear bears are often effectively distracted by juggling children.

Language

Chris: "Theo, stupid isn't a nice word!"

Theo: "I know. I don't say that word. I use other bad language instead."

Um...awesome?!?!