Lessons from the Fab Four

On the way up to Sacramento today, Theo was talking my ear off in the car--a zillion questions! This one particularly amused me:

Theo: Mom, can we go on a submarine?
Me: Someday, sure...
Theo: Mom, a submarine is like a boat, you know. It goes in the ocean. You can look through the periscope and see things.
Me: You're right! Where did you learn about submarines, anyway? Preschool?
Theo: No, Mom. From the Beatles!

Oh, that submarine...

The Change

Today, my Mom got to field Theo's 1,001 questions about anything and everything. My favorite? "Grandma, did you used to be a man?"

I'm still snickering over that one. :-)

A New Tactic

Theo likes to stir up trouble at the lunch table at school. Often he uses potty talk to do so, but sometimes he finds other ways to try to incite a riot among his peers. Today, he came home from school with a nearly full lunchbox, and I knew he must've been stirring up trouble and lost his lunch privileges. So we had a chat:

Me: Theo, why didn't you eat your lunch?
Theo: I was all done.
Me: Oh, you weren't hungry?
Theo: No, Miss Jessica said I was all done.
Me: Why did she say you were all done?
Theo: Because I wasn't behaving at the lunch table.
Me: I see. And what were you doing?
Theo: I was stomping my feet.
Me: Didn't Teacher Amanda tell you to use quiet legs, quiet body at the lunch table?
Theo: Yes.
Me: So why were you stomping your feet?
Theo: Because I wanted my friends to stomp their feet. I was doing a lesson for them.

Ah, I see. Foot-stomping has been a problem in the past, so I know full well that Teacher Amanda has specifically told Theo not to stomp his feet at lunch...and I know that he knows not to do it. Last week, he attempting to blame lunchtime foot-stomping on an imaginary friend. I see that this week he has moved on to the "I'll pretend I'm the teacher so I'm above the law" strategy. Well-played, Theo, well-played... Alas, Miss Jessica enforced the law anyway, so he came home a hungry little boy.

Appropriate Viewing

The most amusing question I've had all day:

Theo: Mom, can I watch a pecker show?

After I finished laughing, I made a mental note to make sure he refers to this in the future as "a Woody Woodpecker show," lest we find ourselves in an embarrassing situation where he tells his preschool teacher that his mom lets him watch "pecker shows."

Delinquent in Training

Sometimes I think my kid is practicing to be a juvenile delinquent. He just loves stirring up trouble at school. First it was stomping his feet at the lunch table to get everyone else to do it, too. When he got corrected for that, he invented an imaginary friend to be the stomping ringleader. (Clever, clever...) Lately, though, he's turned to another method of riling up his friends at lunchtime: potty talk. Today I got a note sent home saying that he hadn't been allowed to finish his lunch because he persisted in doing potty talk at lunch--specifically, he asked another child if he'd like to go to the "poop store." (I snicker even typing that! And I wonder where he gets his sense of humor from...)

Anyway, even though I'm secretly amused by the idea of a "poop store," I know I can't encourage Theo to keep being disruptive, so I talked to him about the issue. It went like this:

Me: Theo, I heard you got in a bit of trouble at lunch. Teacher Amanda said you were using potty words at lunch.
Theo: Yes. [He always says yes. And always very seriously. It's kinda funny.]
Me: You know it's not appropriate to say those words anywhere that's not the bathroom.
Theo: Yes.
Me: That means you don't say peepee, poopoo, bottom, or penis at the lunch table.
Theo: What about butt? You forgot about butt, Mom. [Because he always likes to get the last word!!]
Me: That's right. No butt, either. Do you understand?
Theo: Yes.
Me: Why do you say those words at lunch when you know you're not supposed to?
Theo: Because I like to say those words. They're nice words!
Me: Not really! And they get you in trouble. Do you like to get in trouble?
Theo: No. Nikolas likes to get in trouble!

Ah, a final attempt to weasel out of trouble! Shift the focus to your cousin, Nikolas! Clever, clever. Except that I happen to know full well that Nikolas actually doesn't particularly like to get in trouble. Theo, on the other hand...well, he likes to stir the pot. :-)

The Power of Persuasion

For the most part, we encourage healthy eating in our house. And Theo is a great eater--loves his fruits and veggies! Because of that, we have no problem with allowing him the occasional "junk food" treat--everything in moderation, you know?

One of his favorite treats is a trip to McDonald's. He likes to "take" Grandma Diane there when we visit her, and every so often he and Chris will have a father/son breakfast date to McDonald's or Burger King.

So today, as I drove him home from occupational therapy, he apparently decided that he'd like to go for a fast-food treat.

Theo: Mommy, I know! How about we stop and get me something for dinner?
Me: Um...we have food at home.
Theo (undeterred): How about we go to McDonald's?!
Me: Not today, buddy. I'll make you dinner when we get home.
Theo: But Mommy, wouldn't you like some ice cream at McDonald's?

Ooooh, clever trick, my son! And it might've worked...if only our McDonald's wasn't closed for construction right now. Because I have to admit, a McDonald's hot-fudge sundae is indeed a tasty treat!

Smart Aleck

My son is a smart aleck at age 4 1/2. I couldn't help snickering when I heard the following exchange. Chris was trying to correct Theo for messing with the blinds in the kitchen (something that he's been told many times not to do--they're already broken, and we don't want them further broken).

Chris: Theo, do not touch the blinds. You know not to touch those. If you touch them again, you get a five-minute timeout.
Theo: [Silence]
Chris: Did you hear me?
Theo: Yes.
Chris: What did I say? [It's sometimes crucial to have Theo repeat what you've said, because things often go in one ear and out the other.]
Theo: You said, 'Blah biddy blah blah...'

Well, that's what he heard, anyway....